The definitive guide to South Asian lingo

Definition 1 of 1

4 1


An excuse for not being available at the desk.
Clark or Case-worker or officer.
Government office. Anywhere.
You have head going business.


10am. Your 18th visit in a month for the same work, but the first one of the day.
You to (Peon): Ai guru, I had to see the building inspector.
He looks up at you and recognizing that you are the same ullu who has been making trips there for weeks, he simbly ignores you and your question.
He then goes through an elaborate seven-minute-long ritual with JUST ONE chavi match stick which is:
1. Picks his teeth.1-1/2 minutes. Then employs the same sanctified match stick for the remaining rituals.
2. Scratches several itchy spots behind his neck and around elbow. 1/2 minutes
3. Mines out some ear-wax. 1 minute.
4. Although he now turns to the god-given index finger to dig his nose, he uses the mighty match stick to transfer the nicely rolled up treasure his index finger skillfully brings out.1-1/2 minutes.
5. Using his hard thumbnail, he splits the match stick in two vertical usable halves. Puts one half back in the match box and retains one firmly between index/middle fingers. 1/2 minute.
6. Retrieves a saved, half-smoked-beedi from atop his right ear lobe and inspects it thoroughly to make sure that it still has some useful life left in it, sets it up between his lips, strikes the match after getting inches close to the nearest wall to insure a draft-free-ignition area, strikes the match, half closes his eyes to focus on the tip of the beedi and drags a deep puff, and some more. 2 minutes.
7. Spits khyaaaak thup on a pillar in the office hallway. Makes sure the beedi is completely dead, rubs it on to the previously deposited mucus. 1 minute

The ritual over, he turns his attention briefly towards you.
You put your same old question to him about the whereabouts of the building inspector or whoever you have been wanting to see immediately for the past month.

The Peon, the dutiful, the conscientious, doer of 'govt-work-gods-work', honest and hard-working lets you in on an all important, extremely critical, official insider information thus:
Peon: He is not there!

You act dumbfounded, show the appropriate facial expression, because you have seen with your own eyes that the official is not there and you know it and ask him:
"Where is he?"
Peon:Coffee gey Hogidaare. (Gone to Coffee)
By 4.30 pm, you are on your fourth sortie to the same scene.
You go through the same 7+3 minute protocol. You get mad but can not show it. You feel your body and mind on fire. You want to cool down. You go to the pub for the 18th time in the month for the same reason. But today you down two pitchers and get tipsy-wise and get bulb-flash in the head:
May be the Peon was after all saying " Gone to Kashi", not "Gone to Coffee" and may be you decide to see an audiologist the next day.

Added 2011-08-08 by I love Dtool