The definitive guide to South Asian lingo

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There's good reason that India is referred to as the largest, grandest, best functioning Democracy in the world as far as democratic political systems go. Sure we have our host of trials, tribulations, tribunalations, trepidations, corruption, scandals, xtc. ytc. ztc.

BUT, rest assured that the proletariat has a sure fire methodology of resolving even the most complex of issues in the most egalitarian manner. We put claps.

The basic premise is that all hands are joined in unity in the middle and on the count of three, arms are withdrawn and reapplied to the center either palms up or palms down. The only prerequisite is that one member must cry either "Majority Wins!" or "Majority Loses" and you'll notice that both options are selected in good balance, there is absolutely no judgement on which is ethically favoured.

If majority indeed wins then whichsoever group has either the greater number of palms up or palms down are the winners, and the losers must put claps again. In such a manner the group is steadily whittled down to the requisite number of losers.

I challenge anyone to point me to a more equitable selection system that leaves the power of ones future squarely in ones own hands, yet remaining deeply connected to the fate of the group as a whole. Jai!


Rahul: "Hmm, voting scandal eh? This is a predicament. We might have to form coalition gorement..."
Sonia: "With that junglee? Over my dead body!"
Advani: "If we must we must, but there are too many people I say, how do we choose who sits and who leaves?"
Rahul: "Come we'll put claps, call everybody..."
Sonia: "OYYYY!!!! COME!!!"
{all scurry tither}
Sonia: "Ok, one-two-three ok? One... two... three!"
Rahul: "Majority... Loses!"
Advani: "Bastard! You said too late! Put again!"
Sonia: "He may have called it too late, but he is not a bastard..."
Advani: "Ok, ok, I will call it. Let's put claps again"
Rahul: "Soon da! I'm late for gym and already my trainer is eating my head..."
Added 2011-07-10 by Studmuffin



Terms referencing this

Clap him/her, De Taali, Uma Joshi, cleps