The South Indian-ised Surdie. Butter Chicken AND Sambhar. Then what?
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It doesn't mean donkey, ok?
Related TermsSleep is coming
So I am here to describe and outline the other version of the great Indian headbath. The Northie variety. Specifically the Punju variety. Even more specifically the dry hair Punju variety.
You see, in Kerala the daily head bath and kawkanut oyll is very much a religion. But what about the North? There an individual's headbath frequency is determined by the hair type - oily hair means every two days headbath, normal hair means twice a week, and dry hair means only once a week headbath.
When I was a chunnumunnu, since I hail from a family of perrenially dry heads, the phamily kulchur meant Sunday ke Sunday was headbath day. After a lazy breakfast, the naariyal tel bottle ( translation : the ubiquitous Parachute coconut oil container) would see brisk action as copious amounts were applied on the scalp. (In the chilling winters you had to drop the bottle in some hot water to melt the opaque white mass that was the frozen version). Of course having dry hair and a dry scalp meant one's scalp soaked up all that oil like a desert cactus soaking up water in the monsoon.
If you were lucky enough and your mummy was in a nice mood, she'd give you a super champi head massage with the oil which left you feeling incredibly relaxed and at peace with all creation, even the sidey playground bully.
After an hour or so, you would lazily proceed to have your headbath and wash out almost all the oil from your scalp and hair with some nice smelling shampoo. Not all of it mind you, you had to leave a little bit while washing most of the oil out.
Then why did we put so much oil in the first place it if we washed it all out you ask? Conditioning beta, conditioning. There was no other way to condition dry hair in those days - conditioner was an unheard of product back then. If you didin't oil your hair before washing it, you would go to school the next day looking like a damn porcupine that got electrocuted. Seriously.
After exiting the bathroom, you would then proceed to thwack the dear life out of your hair with a towel to aid the drying process - if it was winter time you could pop out into the garden and enjoy the mild warmth of the hazy winter sun as your hair dried up. Hair dryers were a big no-no, air drying was all the vogue.
One major problem that my Southern pals rarely faced was the terrifying prospect of having headbath during the bone chilling North Indian winter. Bleddy the damn hot water bucket would somehow get over midbath, which left you the with the unappealing option of finishing the headbath with icy cold water or leaving the half rinsed out shampoo on your head. You cannot truly understand the Naarthie preference for hot water head bath till you have howled like a banshee with frigid Arctic water cascading mercilessly down your head and forming icicles on your bum, while the steam rose off your shivering limbs. Such teeth chattering horrors do not occur in sunny Kerala.
"Nothing doing! You want to get lice? Chalo chalo get in the bathroom and wash your hair right now! Don't finish off all the hot water too quickly again"
Then try some Samosa Therapy!
Follow the steps below for instant happiness and contentment in the face of all things that bug you from here to Jhoomritalaiya.
1. Buy one dozen aloo samosas. Dunk four of these into mix of pudhina and imli chutneys, and devour while hot. Feel the taste of the crisp, golden fried maida mixing with the spicy aloo filling, and complimented perfectly by the minty-tamarindy chutneys. Ahaaaa!
2. Once the fabulous double carbohydrate combo of maida and potatoes hits your bloodstream and induces a feeling of well-being, log into Samosapedia. (If you haven't created a login id, eat off two more samosas and do so.)
3. Think of the funniest words/phrases/anecdotes you know. Try to channel your current annoyance or frustration into one of these. Make it as full of nyansanse things as possible. (Hint: you will know if you have succeeded if you start showing your 32 teeths and the person next to you thinks you look loony all of a sudden)
4. Type them into Samosapedia and submit. If someone has already defined them, fikar not I say. Just eat off two more samosas, and define away.
5. Feel all the negative vibes of your day dissolving under the influence of a High-Glycaemic Index snack and the involuntary chuckles that bubble up when you look at the utter rubbish you have just keyed in.
6. Finish off the last 4 samosas with a lighter heart and a happier countenance.
Poori : Oh yes. I am a firm believer in the benefits of Samosa Therapy.
Surdie Birdie : Ey me too ya! Same pinch!
*Sudden howl is heard emanating from Poori*
Meaning : Think about it in a calm manner for a while, and let me know.
PS: It rarely works.
Shanky:"Eeeey! This is a Yamaha! Mad or what? Hogu!"
Vijay:"Aiyo, dont say like that, no? You think and tell tomorrow"
Oh ji, it is only the favouritest and most popular Punjabi dish in the subcontinent. Claimed to have been invented only a few decades ago at the famous Moti Mahal restaurant in Delhi. Loved more than life itself by some Punjus, who must never ever be disturbed while they are devouring it. Think I'm kidding? Just try taking a piece of it from a surdie's plate sometime. He (or even more scary, she) will turn you into human masala fry faster than you can say tikka. Then don't come back as one bhooth and haunt me saying things like I didn't tell you so, ok?
BC, as Butter Chicken is sometimes called, is a heart stopping concoction of vast amounts of butter, ghee, fresh cream and some tomato purée with spices. Bung in some tandoori chicken and just to ensure complete coronary catastrophe, throw on another packet of butter on top. And voila, you have the most calorific chicken curry in all India. But it's so darn good, that once you taste it, you'll be hooked for life.
Just to make sure there's enough butter in your system till the apocalypse, eat it all up with some more butter naan.
And don't forget to growl at anyone who wants a bite from your plate.
"One butter chicken, one plate Amritsari fish tikka, one plate seekh kebab, four butter naan, three roomali rotis. Ohfo I almost forgot - one diet coke also. I'm watching my figure you know."
CategoriesFood and Drink
Related Termsaloo paranthas
Terms referencing thischicken curry
An obvious amalgamation of the phrases - "Just shut up!" and "Shut your mouth". (Somehow mouth became plural and all.)
That only is feeling with which you should associate this phrase, wokay? Full anger and all should come off properly for you. (Flaring nostrils and bulging eyes are highly recommended). Prefixing of the word 'then' in front of the original phrase minns it is full serious serious.
Possesive Priya, almost dancing with rage: "PAH!!! Then what for you??? No shame you have talking this? Just shut it yuvar mouths! #%^#$*@&$~#%!!!!!!!!"
This phrase was every teacher's way of informing rowdy students that the principal was making the rounds of the institution on the sly, hoping to catch some wayward kid doing all nonsense things in class. The sadistic princi would prowl the halls like a panther hunting prey, with the aim of making an example of some unlucky student in front of the whole school. Of course every teacher was petrified of being singled out as being ineffective in controlling her students, and so would inform her class of the princi's sneaky intentions even though she was not supposed to.
*Poor Meera squeaks in alarm and almost faints off only*
This harvest festival goes by many names in different parts of the subcontinent, and in each region it is celebrated with distinct rituals and traditions. (See Wikipedia for details of customs followed in various states on this day) The most famous image of Makar Sankranti has come to be the thousands of colourful kites that are flown by Gujaratis all over Gujarat to mark the occassion.
Etymology : 'Makar' refers to the zodiac sign of Capricorn. Thus, Makar Sankranti denotes the changing path of the sun into the house of Capricorn.
Friends and family gather around after dusk and watch as the fire is lit (after pouring copious amounts of ghee on the wood to be burnt), and then proceed to alternatively snack on and throw in food items such as Til waali rewri (jaggery with sesame seeds), peanuts, and more recently, popcorn. The idea is to feed yourself and to feed the fire as well, dispelling the deep winter chill. In recent years the tradition has become popular outside of Punjab as well and entire neighbourhoods in cities like New Delhi organise giant bonfires on this day. Singing and dancing the bhangda and the giddha form an intrinsic part of the day's celebrations for the farming community of Punjab, who consider this an auspicious day.
It is believed that the night of Lohri is the longest night in the entire year, and the next day the amount of daylight starts to increase for the first time after the cold, unforgiving North Indian winter - heralding the distant arrival of spring in the coming months. Therefore Lohri signifies the end of the darkest part of the year and the coming of warmer seasons. This is why, on the day after Lohri (which coincides with the festival of Makar Sankrant), a special kara prasad is prepared in Punjabi households.
"Everyone, gather around and let's start the fire, it's already quite late. You, come here and start pouring ghee on those sticks and light it up. You, get the hand held fan and help him start the blaze.You! Here are the plates of food, pass them around
*counts them as she goes*
two with peanuts ..... one with rewari ...... two with chiwda ....Wait a minute!!!
*staring at the empty plates in her hands*
WHO ATE UP ALL THE POPCORN????"