The definitive guide to South Asian lingo

holdan

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petty bureaucrat stuck in lala-land

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Noun.
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Definition

Being Indian, the one thing we don't ever shun is education. For the marginally gifted among us, institutions of higher learning are still unfortunately within our grasp, all through the magic of capitation.

Since the time of Taxila all the way until present era Nandela, Indian parents have been recorded donating exorbitant sums of hard-earned black money (well, in earlier times, it was illicitly acquired, undeclared, harder to hide heads of cattle) just to persuade dubious institutions to take educational custody of their misguided progeny for a period of at least four years (any less and it becomes a diploma-shiploma, with much lower dowry-showry prospects)

Post-payment, such parents wander around headless (decapitated, you see) but giddy with the knowledge that the products of their loins will soon find profitable endeavors that can be tapped into later in life, for the all important purpose of retirement, during which phase wittier parents have been observed cracking poor jokes about "capitalizing" on their kids' success.

Usage

Father:
"Dr. Tamilchelvam, Please admit idiot son and give him a wholesome education!"
Father:
"Dei, stop picking your nose, remove your bloody headphones and say `Hello Uncal'"

Son:
"Hello Uncal"

Dean:
"Sir, I freely admit your son is an idiot but for actual college admission, haha, there's capitation fees involved. Surely you understand"

Added 2015-11-23 by holdan

Root

English

Categories

School and College

Related Terms

donation, bribe, fees, maamool
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Noun.
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Definition

Our colonial masters, unsurpassed in acts of satire or sadism, imposed upon us an antiquated education curriculum that required two telephone book thick text-books for each course - both of which were hideously detailed - all just so that some petty bureaucrat (probably named Sir Soggybottom) could derive a morbid chuckle out of it later in life.."Haha, old chap, I called that drivel `non-detail` before I forced it down their throats, I dare say!"

As was expected, millions of unimaginative but reliably enthusiastic Indians played along, memorizing and regurgitating these non-detailed-details at whim, putting totas (parrots) to shame worldwide.

The only antidotes to the toxins of "non-detail" are the life-saving "konar" guides (elevating nut-shell wisdom to haiku-esque levels)

Usage

Maragatham: "Yo Mathrabootham, are you done mugging up all chapters from my non-detail textbook?"

Mathrabootham: "No dee, I got distracted by the hot presenter on yesterday's UGC program...she looked like Sobana Ravi aunty, but hotter, and in puff sleeves...you know puff-sleeves, no?"

Maragatham: "Chee-chee, why are the pages sticking together? Dei Rascal, I will tell to your mummy. She will be hitting you with the chappal!"

Added 2015-09-24 by holdan

Root

English

Categories

School and College

Related Terms

detail, non-detail

Terms referencing this

non-detail

Definition

The only form of denial that counts, and is used extensively by corrupt politicians as well as police officials. A denial isn't official until it is categorical.

Usage

NDTV: "DSP saab, what do you say to the accusation that you embezzled the department's moustache allowance fund?"
DSP Saab: "Arre bhai, only yesterday I categorically denied it, no?"
Added 2015-03-23 by holdan
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Phrase.
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An exclamation that conveys a "don't care" attitude.

Originally a phrase used by tirupathi barbers who gleefully stole each others clientele. Upon discovery that his prospective hirsute client has been prematurely rendered bald by a competitor, the barber exclaimed, "Hair is gone!"

Usage

dude#1: "Can you do air-apeet like me, senthil?"
dude#2: "No way, machan! I tried to yesterday but blew it. But aana, anyhow, hair is gone, da"
Added 2015-03-06 by holdan
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Noun.
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Definition

An oversized fixture across all schools in India, this larger than life figure is usually found with a whistle strung around a neck the size of a first-world tree trunk.

Tasked with imposing a physical regimen upon recalcitrant school-kids, he immediately refocused his amorous attention on the numerous lady-teachers around him.

Usage

school-kid #1: "Did you see Selvi Miss today?"
school-kid #2: "Yes, but Chandrachoodan told he saw her leaving, riding pillion on PT Master's bullet"
school-kid #1:"But isn't Selvi Miss married? To someone else?"
Added 2015-03-06 by holdan

Root

English

Related Terms

romeo, thadi-rascal
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Exclamation.
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Definition

An expression conveying a disastrous outcome - which is sometimes a good thing, but usually not, depending upon the receiver's predilections.

Usage

old-man #1: "Sharmaji, I'm glad I talked you into trying out these hearing aids. Here, try this model out and tell me if you can hear me"
old-man #2: "Guptaji, it's a miracle! I can hear! louda lag gaya!"
Added 2015-03-06 by holdan

Root

Hindi
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Phrase.
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Definition

An abbreviated corruption of "tuck in your shirt", this expression was adopted by the Church of South India in an attempt to enforce some sartorial standards upon unkempt schoolkids in missionary schools all across India.

Usage

Ezhil: "If you don't in your shirt, I'll tell to Miss"
Senthil: "Dei, sooth mudin podi"
Ezhil: "Miss, Miss, I am telling and telling but Senthil is not inning his shirt, Miss"
Added 2015-03-06 by holdan