The definitive guide to South Asian lingo
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Exclamation.
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Definition

"If you come today, it is too early,
If you come tomorrow, it is too late.
You pick the time."

Immortal words sung by Dr. Rajkumar (Annavaru), set to music by the immortal GK Venkatesh from the movie "Operation Diamond Rocket" that have confounded philosophers of various shapes, sizes and varieties over the years.
Some, the baser ones, have interpreted it to mean a warning against premature ejaculation (Annavaru holds his white microphone with thin red lining suggestively).
Others have suggested that it means that time is an empty signifier, a tripe trope, a stamp of Machiavellian authority. (Note the lyrics that are as incomprehensible and irreconcilable as that sentence.)
Some have called this a Communist conspiracy. (Note the background dancers all dressed in the matching clothes)
Some others have simply suggested that it is a trap, an utterly meaningless vortex of hopelessness and despair - at the end of the song, you want to come, but you don't know where, how or when. (Note the scary looking, curly haired, moustachioed thug with cigarette, drink and two mildly hot women.)

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PFURM9eA_Q)

Usage

"Hey, I need to come and pick up that book from you. When is a good time?"
"If you come today, it is too early. If you come tomorrow, it is too late."
Added 2011-10-18 by TNagarTornado