The definitive guide to South Asian lingo

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A do. An affair. A soirée. A felicitation. A golden jubilee or silver jubilee celebration. Someone's 60th birthday party (or 80th for that matter). A wedding reception. A coronation.

All these and many more are all functions. A function is any celebratory social public affair where a large number of people mill around in small groups chatting and waiting for the catered food service to begin. As soon as the food counters are open, a mad dash ensues, and once all have taken, all leave.

What one might expect to be a fairly small event could be bumped up to the status of "function" through extravagance, ostentation, and an expanded guest list. If there is a parking problem outside, it's a function. If the garish decoration and flood lighting is visible from the main road, it's a function.

Your little brother's fancy dress party is NOT a function. Unless it's at a farm house in Delhi, in which case there's valet parking, a 5-cuisine spread, teen patthi, one outdoor bar with only gold label and another for the rest of the brands. A function.


Bairam: "Maaadarchod traffic saala! We have been in this same spot for 2 hours and I am getting tired just sitting here."

Mukunda: "Is that a function of time or a function of energy?"

Bairam: "Gaandu, it's some function of the farm house on the left, saaaalas... I'll shoot the bastards."

Added 2011-07-07 by Studmuffin